I've been away from my blog for a really long time. Its NOT because I forgot about it or because I was tired of writing. I been dealing with something in my life that I thought I would share with you. I suffer from schizophrenia. Which means I hear voices that aren't really there. I hear them 24/7. In my case they mimic my thoughts. Think of it like an annoying echo. Like when little kids copy what you say to bother you. They also comment on anything I do which is usually followed by an insult. And since I hear them 24/7 it feels like I'm being followed. It feels that real.
This is what I've been battling with since I was in highschool. After highschool I was fine but it recently returned. I stopped drawing. I stopped reading. And I stopped writing. But don't worry. I see a therapist once a week and I've been getting better. Slowly but surely. Enough so that I feel well enough to get back into doing the things I like to do.
So now you know. I hope I shed some light on the illness to everyone reading this. If your view of me has changed for the worse then I guess this is where our friendship ends. I'm still the same person you got to know so don't judge me. I guess thats all I have to say. So on to the next...
Wow. First off its very brave of you to share something that people might find weird or not understand. With that said it's easy for people to either get scared or weirded out by things not understood.
ReplyDeleteI never knew exactly what you were experiencing and it seems like it'd be rly hard to do everyday things with those types of distractions. A part of me feels deeply saddened that you have the unfortunate task of dealing with this, but i am also extremely relieved that you're getting help and are able to acknowledge that what you hear isn't real and perhaps through conversation we can develop better comprehension for you & people with similar conditions so that the stigma can be lifted. ♡♡♡